The Plumber

I had a new first today. It's one of those parental things you just know someday you will have to deal with and today was my day. We had tickets to the O's game for tonight so I told the girls all day "no nap, no game." Madelyn got the memo and went right to sleep. Abby of course did not. But she was quiet for a while. Too quiet. All of the sudden I heard her say, "Mommy, I went potty." Oh man! When I got upstairs she was cleaning herself up and had flushed. BUT there was a ton of toilet paper in the toilet. I swear it had to have been half the roll. Grrr. I am of course so torn because I do not want to scar her with anything related to the potty but I was so mad! It was quite a mess to clean up and I was really unsure if I could even fix the problem. But I finally did. Oh I hope this is the last time I have to be a plumber.

The Volunteer

Yesterday we went to the children's museum. We have been wanting to go for a while to check out the new Chagall for Children exhibit. It was really cool to "interact" with the artwork. In keeping with the arty theme for the day we checked out the recycled art at the art studio. Madelyn made a worry doll and Abby made (paper) stained glass. Both turned out really great.

After being so artistic we attend the wildlife adventure show. As we walked into the room I eyed up the boxes and wondered which one the snake would be. There is always a snake. Anyway, the girls were caught between excited and uncertain and went back and forth between sitting on the mat (reserved area for the children) and on our laps. The show started and the guy immediately asked for a volunteer. Madelyn did not raise her hand for the first opportunity but when she saw the little girl did alright she did volunteer, and get picked, for the second opportunity. It was a larger box, with holes, so I knew it could not be a snake. Plus the first animal was a very cute and soft chinchilla.

She stood there and let the guy dress her up in a raincoat and spray her with water. She answered the questions he asked. He brought out the animal--a duck--and she turned looked at it, looked at the audience, then very nonchalantly spun around on her heels and quietly went back to her seat. It was so funny. It was like she was just done with being a volunteer. We laughed so hard. But she did a great job. I guess ducks just aren't her thing.

Date night in DC

I forgot how cool life in DC is. We are so lucky to be so close to the nation's capital and I know I take it for granted. But last night I went in to DC to meet Kevin and a friend of his from college for dinner. (We really missed two others who were originally supposed to join us also.) As I drove into town I recalled my days as a DC, and then Suburban Maryland, resident. My days working at The Post. Playing soccer on the Mall. So many good times! It was a perfect end to a day with very complex emotions...and best of it all it included great company, delicious food and much-needed wine.

At the playground

I am a total playground wimp. Maybe I have mentioned this before. But I often get so nervous at the playground with the two children that never seem to go in the same direction. Some of these new playgrounds are pretty complicated and large and I just avoid them unless I have "man-to-man" coverage.

We are fortunate. We have a lot of great, manageable playgrounds around here that we all enjoy. Madelyn is a whiz on the swings now and Abigail has mastered not leaping off the high up, open sides. Whew. Plus at some of these select playgrounds I can actually have a conversation.

But we need to expand. This summer I am conquering this playground fear and we are having so much fun. It helps that the girls are older and can really handle themselves on almost all playground equipment. But I have found a few things to make the experience better.

1. Dress them in the matching, bright colored clothes. The tie-dyed shirts Nana brought back from clown camp were not only completely adorable but made it very easy to spot them both at a moment's notice at one of the playgrounds I am most fearful of.
2. Bring friends because they will run in their pack. At the MOPS playdate this weekend it worked perfectly.
3. Don't be afraid to go on a hot day. My kids spent a majority of time sitting on a blanket in the shade eating blueberries and apples.

No but seriously, we have been having so much fun as playground junkies. The weather has been downright dreamy this week so that helps too. Plus the additional bonus of tiring everyone out.

Follow-up

If you are not up for a Baby Sam related update then you can skip this post and head to the others I will post after this one. :) Be warned: lots of rambling ahead.

I went for my follow-up visit yesterday with the doctor. I had mixed feelings. In one way I kind of dreaded to have to go because it is really bringing this pregnancy to a close, at least in the world of my medical chart. But on the other hand I was almost looking forward to going so I could take a big step in moving forward. This chapter will ever be closed. This experience is something that will be with us forever.

In anticipation of the doctor's appointment we have been staying very busy. It's been okay. But it was on my mind of course. I even had a dream the night before about the visit. In my dream the doctor came in with a chart full of papers with red circles, everything that was wrong with Baby Sam. I knew this would not happen exactly as in the dream since we opted not to have the advanced genetic testing which would have told us for sure what, if anything, was wrong as well as if Baby Sam was Samantha or Samuel. But there was a good chance we would find out a possibility since the routine test that first told us Baby Sam had passed away was for all the major genetic things. (It's funny I never had this test with Madelyn or Abigail but did with Baby Sam. I was just doing it for the extra ultrasound! I treasure those special peeks at the baby. One of the only fun things about being pregnant in my opinion. How ironic.)

I dropped the girls off at a friend's house and headed to the appointment. I had gotten all dressed up and up on make-up and jewelry, etc. You know how looking good makes you feel good. But for some reason when the nurse left the room but before the doctor came in I just lost it. The doctor was so nice though. I guess just seeing him, since my only experience with him was this procedure and one other visit, just struck me. It's strange how things do. (The books I've read and friends I've talk to say this is normal. So if you see me and I am fine one minute and then weepy the next, you'll understand.) After the exam he said to meet in his office. "Don't worry I have more Kleenex there," he says. (See what I mean--so nice.) In his office he pulled up my chart from the Nuchal Translucency and bloodwork from that sad day. It did have a circle on the page but it was not in red. Apparently I had an elevated risk of Trisomy 13 and/or 18 so we can guess that may be the cause for this. I did a little research. It is pretty serious though sadly very common (major reason for loss) but completely random. So we think that makes us feel better. We are not glad what happened happened. However, we absolutely would not have considered anything other than to take what we were given. It is always best to trust God handle the situation. But somehow I still take little consolation in that. We are not mad at God though. We do understand.

So that is it. I did stop in to the midwife suite on my way out since I had seen them for my two other pregnancies as well as the very beginning, but not the end, of this one. They know me there. I bake for them. I feel like a part of the family. I truly believe they care (even if the people I get to on the phone at the front desk do not. Grrrr.) But stopping in there to see my "friends", even if I was bearing bad news, made me feel good.

We will see what our future holds.

Happy Father's Day 2009

Sick x 2

Oh bummer...Madelyn seems to have gotten the bug. She had a high fever this afternoon. Motrin seems to make them act normal but once it wears off--what a mess. But there has been increased sleeping/naps and that has its advantages. :) Abby has been fever free for a few days now. So I suspect Madelyn will be too in the next day or two. But it just means more time in quarantine from friends until everyone is on the mend. Kevin and I do not seem to be effected so perhaps it is just a kid-thing. Thanks goodness for small blessings...and thank goodness for the quiet weekend!

Gettin' Fancy...with Nancy

Madelyn attended a Fancy Nancy* party at our library yesterday and it was so cute. It was kind of a bummer because we had to cut short our visit with Uncle Eric and Uncle Tim who were passing through on their way through MD en route to VA. But they understood and certainly did not want to get in the way of "being fancy." Madelyn was sooo excited about it. All last week she asked if it was Friday yet. The party certainly did not disappoint one of Fancy Nancy's #1 fans. Madelyn dressed up with her tutu and pearls and even brought her very own "posh puppy" (check out Fancy Nancy and the Posh Puppy for more info. or borrow our copy.) The girls---and one boy, bless his little heart---played musical chairs (Madelyn made the top 3); played Fancy bingo; decorated a paper doll; made a jeweled tiara; listened to a Fancy Nancy story; and even went home with a goody bag. It was just darling (that's a fancy word for cute.)

*Fancy Nancy is new on the scene of children's literature and she is all the rage with little girls especially...and their moms---I am sure some little boys like her just fine too. She's marvelous (that's a fancy word for great.)

Diagnosis: Definitely Sick

Abigail had a fever again this morning. Since she has a history of ear infections with little symptoms beyond fever I decided to take her to the doctor. Not really my idea of a fun activity for the day...we were supposed to have a playdate with one of Madelyn's BFF's. But we chose wisely. Abby's ears are fine but her throat is not. Apparently she has a raw throat with some blisters....symptoms of the coxsackie virus (aka: hand, foot and mouth.) She does not have anything on her hands or feet but apparently her throat is a mess. The quick strep test (ashe hated that!) was negative so her doc thinks it is some kind of virus, if not the coxsackie. CRAZY especially since she did not complain of a sore throat. Though she has not eaten much. Poor baby. But what a good thing we went in to discover this. So far Madelyn is showing no signs of it. Let's hope it stays that way.

Drenched at the Playground

Today we went to a MOPS playdate at one of our fav. playgounds. It started drizzling on our way there and it just got worse and worse. But we did not care. I wanted to go but I knew I'd encounter some people I had not seen in a few weeks. It was just not the greatest day but we just needed to be out and about. I wore my sunglasses despite the fact it was not very sunny. The girls are just still not listening well at all and my patience for that is zero these days. I nearly lost it when Madelyn fell into the mud because she was not following my directions. Grrrrr. But perhaps there can be some explanation about all this off behavior on their part--they fell asleep in the car (and transferred to an hour and a half nap at home.) So they are tired. Good, so are we! Little Abby may be getting sick--she was warm this evening and went to bed at an early for her (but normal) time. We will see what tomorrow brings. But the playground in the rain was a good thing for us today.

Young Floral Designers

Yesterday we did something a little different.....we took a tour of a local flower shop. It was really neat! A friend in our mom's club and I have been working on this for a while and it finally came to fruition yesterday. She had the idea of hallowing out apples for vases and letting the kids put together mini arrangements. I think they might have some potential apprentices here.....

Dancing Queens and Daddy's Girls

What a string of fun days we are having. A much needed blessing indeed. Two very fun things happened today. The first was Abigail's first dance class. She has been watching her big sister dancing away and the two have had a few numbers together at home. But today we had Abby's first actual class. It is a Mommy and Me ballet class (so I get to dance also!) that for us has turned into a Mommy and Sister and Me class. I actually think in Abby's case it is really good to have Madelyn dancing along side of us. It was a lot of fun for all of us and oh so cute.

Then this evening the girls had a date with Daddy. At one of the local Chick-fil-A's it was Father-Daughter Night. Reservations were required, dressing in one's finest encouraged, red carpet, table service... What a charming night (according to reports)! We even had fresh picked flowers for Daddy and his little girls.

While I did miss out on the CFA fun it gave me an opportunity to have a Mother-Daughter night featuring dinner and a little shopping with my mom so that was a real treat for me too.

Oodles of family fun

What a terrific family fun weekend we had. Oh I wish it could continue. Today was quite a perfect day. It's like a birthday or wedding day you just do not want to end.

We started the day welcoming my mom home from clown camp! She had a great week and learned all kinds of cool new tricks (like making a rainbow balloon sculpture!) but we missed her so much. It was nice to see her for church and breakfast.

This afternoon we took the girls to their very first professional baseball game. We join the Orioles' Dugout Club this year and this was the first game we were able to attend. It was a blast and a very inexpensive day. They had a moonbounce set up, dollar drinks and snacks/hot dogs plus all the usual baseball game fun. Madelyn was totally into the music and fanfare and tracking of the Oriole Bird but kept asking "when are they going to start playing?" I seats were way, way up so I guess it was hard to really get into the game. Abby was a total people watcher the whole time and I doubt she even knew there was a game going on. It was fun and this is just the beginning more O's fun to come....

We ended the day with the family picnic at our church. I have to admit that I was not sure how it would go. I do not think anyone would use the word shy to describe me but sometimes I do feel a little uncertain when I hardly no anyone. I have lost the touch I used to have to just walk up to people and introduce myself. We have been getting to know people in the parish slowly and the children sure help us meet new people real quickly. But tonight was just SO much fun. I really like our parish but after this picnic tonight--that featured classic like three legged race, tug-of-war and a bonfire with s'mores!---I love this parish.

This is just the perfect weekend we needed. I wish it did not have to end. Here's to a good week....

Potty Training,Take 2

So it seems like every other day is a good day. I won't go into yesterday but today was good, very good. I am sure it could be a combination of many things--Daddy being home, the bit of scrapbooking I did this morning, the evening we spent with friends. But we had a mostly great day.

We also have some very exciting news to share---Abigail started really potty training today and she did GREAT! So great. She was outside for a while today so we moved the little potty outside for easy accessibility. There was a good deal of time of running around in her birthday suit (thus we were quarantined to the backyard...oh what the neighbors must think of us!) This is a tactic we did not employ in the potty training of Madelyn but we heard it was quite effective. (There were several tactics we did employ with her and several blogs to note those trials and errors.) But the naked approach is interesting and I think good in theory. Oh the advantages of being a "summer baby." But we are serious about the training and have joked about doing a potty training boot camp with her. Well if today is any indication of how it will go we will be ok. I will not get ahead of ourselves though---it was a long and hard road with Madelyn.

So anyway, the potty was outside. We came in for dinner and right on the middle of dinner Abby announces she has to go to the bathroom. So I tell her I will bring the chair in for her and she says "No, I go outiside." Oh really? Are you sure? Well she did just that. Rushed outside on the deck and did her thing. It totally cracked us up. I won't get share any of the graphic footage but you can get an idea of the scene....potty on the patio.

Thumbs (and Toes) Up

Today has been a good day. We went to the gym this morning and I worked out so hard and it felt good. I told an acquaintance I saw there I was going until it stopped hurting and she looked at me and said, "don't you mean starts hurting?" She had no clue. But it was good and the girls had some fun too.

Then this afternoon a friend had offered to watch Madelyn, since Abby had school, so I could go get a pedicure. That gave me the best idea. I actually do not really want to be alone. I especially want to be with my husband and children so Madelyn and I went together for mani's and pedi's (which provided a good lesson in Latin...Madelyn was so confused about the name.) It did not amount to much more than painting---she does not need the scraping off of her little feet and I am not really into that with my eczema that always breaks out when I get a pedicure. It was her first time hgetting the spa treatment (not that it was very fancy) and she was just thrilled. So it was Royal (of course) for her which is a purple, glittery color and I chose Nasty which is a weird name but a purpley-pink she helped me choose. It was a very wonderful mother-daughter moment. Perhaps we will be able to add Abby to the mix next time. It was a nice treat and a wonderful reminder about just how very thankful I am for these girls!

Though I did feel a little guilty having so much fun without her, Abigail had a great time at school today. She is really enjoying her "big girl" time there. I love to see all the crafts that are coming home so that is a real treat for me too. Today they were talking about bees and they made this adorable little thing with Honeycomb cereal. It always amazes me the creativity in these preschool crafts.

We are planning to meet my Dad for dinner tonight since my mom is still out of town. So another night off from cooking and a yummy dinner to boot.

Thank you, God, for this day.

We're down, we're up

I do not want to turn this into a grief blog or my journey back to normalcy but since this is a blog about our family happenings, as well as a record of my personal feelings on the day, I feel I must post a disclaimer that there may be some feelings talk. But I know I will end on the up so bear with me. Today started off not to be the best day at all. It is weird because yesterday I felt good, almost normal. But a combination of Kevin going back to work, the girls quite clearly in some sort of wild phase (due to uncertainty perhaps of things happening around them?) and reality settling in. It was not a good start. Oh and as one friend reminded me, there's the bit about the hormones going wild. Yikes.

But the day improved so much that I'd actually give today a 6 out of 10 (much improved from the 2 it started off as.)

We had to get out of the house but I just was not up to the larger group activity we had planned to do today. So the girls and I hit the local farmer's market. This is our second farmer's market already this week. It was very refreshing and the girls were so cute with their purses (each with a dollar inside) and their produce bags. Oh and their umbrellas--not because it was raining or even threatening rain, but to shield these two delicate flowers from the hot sun. Oh they are funny.

They sampled and surveyed and loaded up nature's goodies into their bags. Madelyn was itching to pay with her dollar at every table. I urged them to save their dollars for the gourmet cookies which were $4 for a bag. So they decided to pool their money and borrow a little more and off they went with their jam and almond cookies. (Their choice really surprised me but the baker gave them a sample and they liked it. Despite the fact they often turn their noses up to nuts even though they do not have an allergy...they are just always afraid they might.)

I am not proud of it but I am an emotional eater. Usually it is all for good but it can be when I am sad. So I gave myself pardon for having ice cream for lunch. But that can only last so long. I also tend to bake to express emotion. With all the beautiful local strawberries we picked up to day seemed like a perfect opportunity to make strawberry shortcake. The girls were totally on board for this and we had a great time mixing and kneading and pressing the dough.

So, you see, today was not all bad. There was a lot of good and I hope there is even more tomorrow.

Baby Sam

We decided to name our baby Sam. Not only is this a very adorable name for a baby but Sam can go either way for a boy or girl (and we will never know the gender of the child we lost.) There were a few other name choices we considered but we chose the name Sam for the meaning: hearkened by God. There is really no other explanation for why this baby, who was very meant to be for the very, very short time we had, will never be in our arms.

It was a rocky few months we had with this little one. All that throwing up is what I am mainly referring to. I regret we never got to experience the "true joy of the second trimester"...the one where you feel great, when you find out the gender (though we may not have this time? yeah right like I could have kept it a secret!), when you grow in a way that you look pregnant but not feel about to burst. But, despite the blah of the early months, the past few months was a very joyful time for us and a time, even now knowing how it would end, we would never trade. We anticipated all that would come and it was good. (Though we did wonder how we would transition from "man-to-man" to "zone" defense.)

Though Baby Sam grew wings and went to heaven sometime in the last two weeks, yesterday felt like the last day and that was hard on us. I am not sure I can speak for Kevin here but I was in total denial over the weekend to be honest. I was still throwing up a little bit here and there, my pants were still (gleefully) a little tight. The baby was still ours physically and emotionally. I thought perhaps we would get to the hospital and they would notice they were wrong. I had a long talk with the doctor and of course they were not wrong. But the denial was working for a little while. The doctors and nurses at the hospital were so kind. As long as we did not think about what was happening during the procedure (impossible not to) it was okay. I told Kevin at least I got some good drugs...he got nothing. {Kevin has been absolutely awesome to me and I am so grateful to God for such an amazing husband. You always hear about the "for better and worse" so it is comforting to know we can rise to challenges.}

But we got through yesterday and we will be fine.

All three times we were expecting I was never good at keeping it quiet. I just felt like if you saw me and said, "how are you?" what you meant was "are you pregnant?" It seemed even more fun to me this time to tell people the news, even when it seemed so early. Now it is clear to me why. Yes, we really hated to tell people the bad news. But it was a gift from God to have so many people to share in the short life of his baby. The immense support from our family and friends has and will carry us through this time.

We are so sorry that we share this experience with so many others but we appreciate the kindness and compassion those who have been through this before us have shared. No matter how much time has passed and what the "after" brought, I am sure the pain is never gone. So thanks.

We do thank God for our angel, Baby Sam. Our time was short but we know we will meet again in heaven. Even the girls seem to understand this. Until then, may all our family and friends who have gone before us, and all the Saints, enjoy the gift of our sweet baby.

Abigail, the little preschool camper/student

Well that did not last too long---the whole staying commitment-free this summer. I have been feeling a little guilty that Madelyn has various camps and activities and Abigail has nothing. But there is very little for the not-yet-three and not-yet-potty-trained. But I found some openings in the afternoon and this very popular little preschool nearby. They are running a summer program/camp kind of thing. Perfect--she does not nap anyway and surely she needs something to do.

So yesterday was her first day and she was more excited than you can even imagine. It was so cute! They made these cute little watermelon crafts and she apparently fit right in. She is most impressed with the "little potty" they have at the school so maybe she will eventually start using it. Madelyn and I enjoyed out 3 hours of quality time...though I would have preferred a nap, and she probably would have taken one also, we went out and had some fun. I am still not totally up to par (and we had a very busy day yesterday since we hosted our old MOPS table's playdate in the morning) so I did not even take a photo of her on her first day. But I will take one next week.

What a big girl she is now! This was perfect timing because yesterday, during our morning playdate, she came downstairs crying so hard it seemed she had to be seriously injured. When I asked her what happened, between crocodile tears and huge sobs, she said "Madelyn and her friends called me a baby and I'm not a baby." It was the saddest thing. So this was the perfect boost to assure her, she is definitely not a baby anymore!

Transitions and playdates

This week has a clear theme: transitions and playdates.

This is a big time for transitions of my "mommy leadership" duties. Yesterday in fact I passed on the info. on the job I am leaving with the local mom's club (MAC) and got updated on what I will need to do with my new role in MOPS. I don't know what I was thinking! This job is going to be a lot more work and possibly even more hassle and grief from the peanut gallery. But, crazy as it is, I am still looking forward to the challenge ahead. Maybe it will be a lesson in toughening the skin, which I can always use. The bulk of the work will be this summer and early fall so that is good considering my situation and how busy we may be in the new year.

Playdates have been another big thing this week--and there is a list of friends we have not seen in so long due to our activities. So more playdates are sure since we have more friends we need to catch up with. I used to not really enjoy playdates myself but I am happy to say so far so good. I guess we are just getting in the groove of "playing nice." I feel like I have probably addressed this before but doesn't it sound so fun to have a playdate? How fancy! Oh and it is. new toys, new scenery, drinks (watered down juice always tastes better from someone else's cup apparently!); and of course the snacks! But the kids are totally into it and often scheduling "playdates" of their own. Though Madelyn is into sleepovers now. She has had two already. But a sleepover to her means a playdate that you get into your pj's and ends at about 9 p.m. But she'll invite just about anyone she sees now over for a sleepover.

And the fun just keeps on coming.....

Don't talk to strangers

Well it is June 1st and I have vowed to return to the blog. I am humbled that some of our friends have missed it. Thanks for the compliment! I am feeling a little bit better now that I am 12 weeks pregnant (though it seems like much longer than 12 weeks.) We have been up to lots of fun stuff and I will have to catch up on all that: Phoenix trip, Last days of school for both girls, Madelyn's dance recital, Chicago trip...and all the usual day-to-day fun (minus the throwing up on my part.)

But today was a day to get back into routines and start our "summer." We have few commitments and that feels good. We plan to spend most of our summer just playing with friends and relaxing.

Today, amidst the unpacking and restocking the shelves and fridge, we did make some time to visit the playground. We had a gorgeous, gorgeous day--sunny but no humidity--it was a total playground day. While we were there Madelyn was on the swings and for the first time was completely independent--pumping her legs and not needing any push. It was a big moment! That allowed me to be in another area of the playground with Abigail who likes to climb but not go down the big slides.

So as I am a few feet away I hear Madelyn strike up a conversation with another mom we do not know. She is going on and on about her name, her sister's name, their ages, what we did last week, etc. I know, I know...the apple does not fall far from the tree. But I decide to use this opportunity to talk to her about not talking to strangers. Even though I was right there and this mom was certainly harmless I figure this is still a good teaching moment on a little stranger danger.

So in the car I tell her we should not talk to strangers, especially telling them personal information like names and ages. She seems to completely understand and sees the difference between talking to another adult we know and not talking to other adults we do not know.

Flash forward to our errands that take us to Sam's Club. In the milk aisle we encounter an older woman who is having some trouble determining which milk is skim and which is 1% (the signs above do not match the milk below.) She is telling us about how she got the wrong milk last week and what a shame it was, etc. I offer some help and ensure she grabs the right one. One the way out to the car we see each other again and she says thanks and we exchange a few words on how silly they signage is....

After we walk by Madelyn says, "Mom, we really shouldn't be talking to strangers."